"it happens"

I don't know if I posted about this before, but ever since last year, I've been hearing it a whole goddamn lot! if I'll hear it one more time, I'll stab someone in the face!

not only that I'm angry, but I'm really revolted. it escapes my comprehension how people can be so fucking stuck in their bubble. no one said that everyone should be a genius, or even a half-genius. I just wonder how hard is it to think about your own self? about your mind and body.
you can't say 'I slept with someone. it just happened'. really now?! it's not like you were walking on the street and you fell with your dick in someone's vagina. you don't just run out of petrol, you are a retarded person that should not be behind a wheel..

all the information around us... why would you choose to be stupid?

bable...

this week has passed so quickly. I read a lot. I don't use the computer as much as I did. maybe life is too boring, that's why I like to drown me mind into fantasy literature. and afterwards I panic. I feel guilty because I didn't study enough, cause I didn't pay much attention to research.

song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFITdh7DrW4&feature=related

there are no many words to express such passion and beauty. forever and always: Death

human form

I've been more calm lately. maybe because I didn't think about anything else but my academic demands. I somehow shut the door that lead to all the bollocks. I got up in all that shit and the weight of it all was really pressing on my shoulders, brain and chest. I sometimes have to remind myself I don't have to deal with some stuff, that it all stop.

it's so strange, the human form...

squishy and mushy

I gave my guinea pig, Falcute, a bath and after wards I dried him up. he kept on jumping and squeaking. he doesn't like loud noises

loss

my meat suit is in pain. a headache and a sour throat... not what I need right now. I should be studying and remembering stuff, but no. all I can think is how to rip certain people to pieces.
it's so strange how my meat suit perceives loss.

dead heart in a dead world

good things do not happen to good people because people are not good. we, at least once,
lie and manage to do something bad. something not right, not moral or ethical... I thought
that if I'll be righteous, righteous things will happen to me. that's how karma works. but
then again, you also have to pay for the unrighteous things you made in your past lives.
I guess.


I wanted to believe in the knight that will sweeps me off my feet so bad! the one that takes you
away to a great world where nothing seems bad anymore, where all cares fade away. where
there is the great comfort and excitement of being together. I fell in love this summer. but
good things don't happen to goddamn good people. I really fucking tried to keep a strong grip onto every dream I had with him. I wanted him to be my knight in shinny armor. but life is
not like a fairytale. not even close. there are things I can't accept. things that reflect a certain behavior, a poor way of life... maybe I'm a drama queen but I can't do this anymore. every day I keep on thinking about the past, the present, question myself if my choices are right... I can't do this anymore

one thing is for sure: I'm left broken hearted