coma white

I'm so hooked on this song called 'Coma White' by Marilyn Manson.
never heard it will two weeks ago. it's not my usual style of music as
I love a more extreme approach, but there's just something about it.
and the lyrics... the actual song says "a pill to make you numb/a pill to
make you dumb". but all I hear is 'I feel like making you numb/I feel
like making you dumb'.

and each time I hear the first line, I get really violent thoughts. like,
making people numb after a really bad beating. and when I hear the
second one, 'I feel like making you (feel) dumb' I just get a 'thirst' of
mocking people. two in particular.

I've always been a very angry person, but it works for me...

I am fucking superior, cunt!

I take pride in what I do. the books I read, the things I know and the time I
take to study and learn. cause no matter how many things I know, I realize
I know nothing. why is it that I like reading and learning? because knowledge
is power. and we all love power! I want to have power over everything that I can,
especially people. cause I hate their fucking guts. and stupid people... well, you
can't deny how entertaining is to watch them embarrass themselves. hey hey,
it's fine. it's really ok to feel smarter than oh so many. I mean, why deny the
truth?

I mean, am I suppose to feel bad cause some illiterate loser feels hurt when I
laugh at it cause it doesn't know the capital of Portugal?

we all have equal rights. not equal chances, that's true. but rights. so, if I can
borrow a book from the school's library, as sure as fuck every pupil can.

I met a 16 years old girl. her reputation: whore. now please tell me, why
should
I feel sorry for a person that chooses to have sex with 30something years
old men,
doesn't know how to speak her mother tongue correct and takes pride in it.

other than this poor soul, I met a 24 years old mother. got pregnant at20 or
so with
a guy that never wanted a relationship with her. I heard lots and lots of
stories but
the thing is that we live in the 21st century and if she never heard of protection
and
graduated high school... that's just retarded. anyways, the thing is that after
she got
the idea that there shall be no relationship, she started fucking almost all
his friends
course, she is still single. most people that know her tag her as a total slut.
such a bad bad
thing for that kid that will hear stories of his slut mother after he'll grow older.

the kid is 3 and he doesn't talk like a 3 years old should, eats unhealthy
food and breaths the smoke his mother exhales. and she's a chain smoker.
when I saw her,
I started laughing. I heard of her before actually seeing her in person
and I thought she
must be some kind of hot piece of ass, cause her brains definitely couldn't
get her to screw
all those guys. but to my surprise, I found this really bad looking broad that
had no manners and had no idea how to properly make her acquaintance.

it's just so sad to have such a reputation. I have no respect towards her or
people like her. anyways, as I said, I laughed in me mind and then I couldn't
keep it in anymore. so I laughed and no one knew why.

"someone" actually told me that I have a superior way when it comes to people
and that I should be nice to people especially if no one ever did me wrong.

so my answer to that was: I am superior! I am acting like such because I am
entitled to. because I earned the right to take a piss on each and every slut
I come across. because I am better!
everyone creates their life. I say don't do anything to embarrass yourself,
your family and your people. cause there will come a time when you'll get
the chance to look back, and would you like to regret lots of things? why is it
that so many young girls want to 'explore their sexuality' but never want to
explore the world of science, or the human brain or spirit?

I am looked at with hate because I state the obvious? fuck that! the truth is
knowledge and knowledge is harsh. why should I feel bad for someone
that chose such a life style?

people make mistakes? a mistake is when you forget to pay your phone bill, a
mistake is when you don't boil enough water, a mistake is when you don't pay
enough attention. there is no mistake in fucking two guys in less than 2 hours.
it's not like you tripped and fell onto someone's penis! that is fucking choice!

fucking bollocks...

so sad....

it's so sad to see people losing their spiritual inner self. or even sadder to realize they don't

have such thing. people are the most greedy form of life there has been till present days.

they don't respect themselves, other fellow humans and don't get me started on animals.

and then there are words. lack of symbolism in words. so so many just throw words at each

other, empty words. and for what? just for the sake to hear their own voices? is there

no essence left within humans? how can you say such things as "it's just a hamster. it's

an animal, it feels no pain" ? life is life, no matter which possessor has it. and there is the

circle of life. every action has a reaction. are we suppose to treasure life no matter what,

the size, genre or order does not matter.

stop being fucking retarded and use your brains to actually think and come up

with bright ideas. don't use your head just so it wouldn't rain in your mouth!

my first...

here's what I got for my first 2010 post:

having a real diary makes it difficult to post around here, not that anybody reads this.

I find myself caught up between so many difficult decisions. personal, professional

family matter, killing people, saving animals and plants... how can you not have expectations?

how could you not? it comes natural and it's hard to fight them. you want things to

go your way cause that means you have pleasure in life. how can there be a relationship

without expectations, unless you don't care about the other, right?

anyways, I shall return to my study books

letter to Santa

dear Santa,

I want you to bring me nothing this year. I mean it.

delegatie

ma duc in ploiesti. ma intreb cat o sa injur pe acolo...?

apoi in campina. oare acolo cat o sa reusesc sa nu ma enervez...?

I don't miss missing you

I heard a song while coming back home on the radio and the dj

said the song's name is don't miss missing you. horse piss song,

normal pop/dance song but the title hit me. I get it.