Mos Nicolae

Mos Nicolae, or St. Nicholas (in english) is a very sweet holiday. I really love it. children (and we are all someone's children) are suppose to leave our shoes, our very super clean shoes, next to the door, so he can leave us presents. usually, the presents are all kinds of candy.

my family and I can't wait for him till tomorrow, 6th of December, so Mos Nicolae is super good to us and leaves our presents in the evening, 5th of Dec.

I got lots of candy aaaaand a mobile pompon! it's crazy pink, and if anyone will ever bitch about it, I'll rape their mothers with a big, rusty ranch.


no one fucks with my few girlie shit!

..

it's just so fascinating how oh so many people try to differentiate themselves from animals. regardless to say, people are animals. retards and idiots think they are somewhat superior
due to the communication skills and such.

needless to say each and every specimen can communicate withing its family.

I have no idea why people are such big fuck ups. I don't get it. why they always have to complain, believe in a bigger power that will raise their children cause it's a sin to use contraception, pay for sex, consume more than they need...it's a never ending process of taking and never giving back.

or maybe they give blow jobs back, to be sure they'll gain something in return. just saying...

birthday

19 days till my birthday and I'm not looking forward to it. my pet hamster has a tumor,
that sure is fucking fun... she's old and there are around 20% of survival if I decide to take
her for a chirurgical intervention. and she's super tiny, she's got 35 grams. I just watch her,
all day long. today, I started working on my dissertation. at least I'm doing that...

this week was pure hell and I"m sure the next will be worse. I guess I'll have to wait and see.
that is if I don't get a stroke

unhappy

I can't remember when was the last time I drew or wrote someting regarding love
for myself. it's always hate, anger and fury. I used to draw a lot for my own pleasure,
took pride in the drawings and they were not to give away. now, I only draw things
so I can give them away.

I know we all have our own demons and shit we have to deal with, but I can't
seem to take a decision. my head is all messed up. it's always in my head "what
should I do about it?" I can't seem to get a fucking answer. I'm somehow trapped
between the spiritual me and the ... I don't even know. something something me,
that doesn't wanna let go. I spent so much time to become a righteous person, never
do anything immoral and just be true to myself and when the day will come and I'll
look back upon my life, I'll be proud. fucking proud that I was the best a human can be.
never be eaten by the spirit crusher, never giving up into the flesh and all that shit so
many do. always keep away from those that did. those who just sucked cock just to
be appreciated, lie, cheat, be stupid on purpose, never read, never try to learn more
about anythings, act superior when they're not et caetera.

even if someone told me that they've changed, can I really believe that? people don't
change their essence. you are whatever you choose to be. and everything that we do is
our choice. so why or how could I really believe that people change? but let's say they do,
they do change. but the past is still there! the past built from shit load of fucked up
choices, things that I don't want to be linked to. things that I truly hate in a person
and things that make me sick. the past speaks about a person.

and in the end I don't care what people say, it bothers *me*. it's my story, my life and I
want to be happy. really happy. and I can't feel happy, no matter what I do. I'm somehow
stuck in my head knowing that I just have to make up my mind and all I do is let time
pass by me till one morning I'll wake up and just know what I have to do.

I hate this state

empty words

it's difficult to mentain a righteous behaviour in a world of empty words.
even the people you're suppose to trust and love are full of bollocks.
so tell me, how could I ever be able to find a trustworthy person in a mass
of liers?

when I say something, I do it. there are no excuses no fucking pussy lines,
I fucking do it. if it's an important, super big deal or even if it's a casual thing.
cause I have my word of honour.

enough

I care about morality, truth and dignity. I fought to have them all by not
giving into the "Spirit Crusher". but I can't seem to find someone else that
shares this.

I am so hurt right now... and angry. really really angry. every fucking time
I start having faith or believe in someone, something happens and the
faith build crushes down. each and every time and I'm starting to have enough
of this shit. I could carve into human flesh right now and feel nothing! it's so
strange how a sentence can change your mood, or even more, your life. the way
you looked or used to see someone...


is there a male version of me?

the happy series

I realized that most of my posts are really angry. but that's cause I am an angry
person. I don't know why, but it works for me.
so I thought I could post something nice. maybe things that I like or the things that
make me happy or melt my heart... I mean, you know, I can be nice sometimes.

here we go: this is Ciufee my guinea pig. I call him 'copilul' (that's romanian for child)
most of the times.



I love him much and he hates it when I smooch him too much.