loss

my meat suit is in pain. a headache and a sour throat... not what I need right now. I should be studying and remembering stuff, but no. all I can think is how to rip certain people to pieces.
it's so strange how my meat suit perceives loss.

dead heart in a dead world

good things do not happen to good people because people are not good. we, at least once,
lie and manage to do something bad. something not right, not moral or ethical... I thought
that if I'll be righteous, righteous things will happen to me. that's how karma works. but
then again, you also have to pay for the unrighteous things you made in your past lives.
I guess.


I wanted to believe in the knight that will sweeps me off my feet so bad! the one that takes you
away to a great world where nothing seems bad anymore, where all cares fade away. where
there is the great comfort and excitement of being together. I fell in love this summer. but
good things don't happen to goddamn good people. I really fucking tried to keep a strong grip onto every dream I had with him. I wanted him to be my knight in shinny armor. but life is
not like a fairytale. not even close. there are things I can't accept. things that reflect a certain behavior, a poor way of life... maybe I'm a drama queen but I can't do this anymore. every day I keep on thinking about the past, the present, question myself if my choices are right... I can't do this anymore

one thing is for sure: I'm left broken hearted

cookig. dishes

I never thought cooking is hard. I still don't. well, at least for people that know how to read. with all the technology today, all you have to do is go online and search for a recipe. follow the instruction, and if the stuff you put in are good, the result cannot be bad. maybe the shape won't be perfect, or the color, but you can't make something bad from goodies.

all I had to do is temper a cabbage and afterwards mix it with some fusilli. first thing first, I had to chop the cabbage in beautiful thing stripes, but because I have a kitchen robot, I said I'll use it. I don't know why I couldn't fix the plastic top, or however is called, to the whole mechanism... and so, I started swearing like a motherfucker. all I could think was about my upcoming exam and how instead of studying, I was cooking.

after I finished practicing my french on the kitchen robot, I took out a knife and started chopping the cabbage very nicely. I was surprised how easy it went.

you see now, cooking is fine. it's the dishes. I hate them. I don't want to wash them, yellow rubber gloves don't help much. I don't know... I just hate dishes, but I always do them.

random

wanted to post something few days ago, but I can't remember what... I recall it was a great idea, not the usual mean, angry thing.

this one was just one of those days. I figured out I lost my identity card, and that is a biiig bad. I can't remember where or when I last used it, I didn't even know it was gone. I had to take my parents to the airport, and so I took my license and I had to take my IC as well, but couldn't find it.

I spent all day trying to remember where it was, course I didn't find it. I'm in big trouble.

still can't remember the subject I wanted to write about.